Can I Get Alimony if My Spouse Cheated on Me?

Learning that a spouse has been unfaithful can upend your sense of security, and the end of your marriage may bring serious financial worries. Infidelity is more common than many people expect. South Denver Therapy reported that 20 percent of married men and 13 percent of married women admitted to cheating. When an affair leads to divorce, the betrayed spouse often wants to know whether the cheating will affect alimony, which some states call spousal support or maintenance. The answer depends mostly on the state where you file and on each spouse’s finances. In many states, the affair itself will play little or no role.

A divorce lawyer can explain how your state treats marital misconduct and whether evidence of an affair could help your case. An attorney can also gather financial records, track down money spent on the affair, and build a support request based on your actual needs. If your spouse has more income or assets than you, legal guidance can help you avoid accepting less than what the law allows.

Do Judges Consider Infidelity in Spousal Support Decisions?

Whether judges consider infidelity in spousal support decisions varies widely from state to state. Every state now offers some form of no-fault divorce, meaning a spouse can take steps to end their marriage without proving wrongdoing. However, states take different approaches when it comes to alimony.

In states such as California, Washington, Colorado, Illinois, and Arizona, judges generally decide alimony without considering marital misconduct like adultery. Instead, courts look at factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and earning ability, the standard of living during the marriage, and the age and health of each spouse.

Other states may allow judges to weigh infidelity as one factor among many. Texas, Florida, and Pennsylvania are examples of states where a judge may consider marital misconduct when deciding whether to award support or how much to award. A small group of states, including Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia, take a stricter approach. In these states, a spouse who committed adultery may be barred from receiving alimony altogether, though some states allow exceptions.

Even in no-fault states, an affair can affect your finances in another way. If your spouse spent marital money on gifts, trips, hotel rooms, or rent for a new partner, many courts can account for that spending when dividing property. This is often called dissipation of marital assets.

How Do You Prove That Your Spouse Was Unfaithful During Divorce Proceedings?

Proving that your spouse was unfaithful during divorce proceedings usually requires more than suspicion or a confession made in private. Family courts in fault-based states often accept circumstantial evidence, which means you may not need direct proof of a sexual relationship. In many cases, showing that your spouse had both the desire and the opportunity to have an affair can be enough. Some states set a higher bar, though. Virginia, for example, requires clear and convincing evidence of adultery. Evidence that can help prove infidelity includes:

• Text messages, emails, or social media messages between your spouse and another person
• Credit card statements, bank records, or receipts showing hotel stays, dinners, gifts, or travel
• Photos or videos that show your spouse with another person
• Testimony from friends, neighbors, coworkers, or a private investigator
• Admissions your spouse makes in a deposition or written discovery responses

Gathering evidence the wrong way can hurt your case. Logging into your spouse’s private accounts without permission, secretly recording phone calls, or placing a tracking device on a vehicle may violate state or federal privacy laws. Improperly obtained evidence can be thrown out, and in some cases, it could lead to criminal charges or civil liability. A divorce attorney can use legal tools like subpoenas and discovery requests to obtain records the proper way.

What You Need to Know About Cohabitation Laws and Alimony

Cohabitation laws can affect alimony when the spouse receiving support moves in with a new partner. In most states, remarriage automatically ends alimony payments. Moving in with a new partner without marrying is less straightforward, and states handle cohabitation in different ways.

Some states allow alimony to end when the receiving spouse lives with a new partner in an ongoing, marriage-like relationship. Illinois, for instance, takes this approach. Other states treat cohabitation as a reason to review and possibly reduce support, often by asking whether the new partner’s contributions lower the receiving spouse’s financial need. Georgia and Florida allow courts to modify support in these situations, and California presumes that a spouse living with a new partner needs less support.

When deciding whether two people are cohabiting, courts may look at several factors. These can include whether the couple shares a home, splits bills or holds joint accounts, takes vacations together, presents themselves publicly as a couple, and how long the relationship has lasted. Occasional overnight stays are usually not enough on their own.